A Cacophonous Shriek

It’s a struggle to know where to turn. How do I know exactly how many people there are to mourn? On a seemingly innocuous, rainy gray day, Chanukah just arriving, a happy time, yay! Nay, for my eyes caught something on the screen, something I’d just as soon not have seen. Almost one hundred and fifty dead, almost all kids. The world is on a perennial skid. death every day, despite god’s forbid. Speeding toward a foreseeable abyss, with no future for compassion or kindness. People are slaughtered, their killers martyred.

It’s a struggle to know where to turn. How I yearn for days to be quiet, to settle down with my books, and quietly learn. But its loud outside, its loud in the world. And the noises and sounds are becoming all swirled, they are turning into one cacophonous shriek, getting louder and louder and louder and louder! Until the scream blows up, and all that’s left is the powder.

It’s a struggle to know where to turn. I work all day, and do everything just to earn. Earn enough for my family, put food on the table. My whole life dedicated to making things stable. My hands are raw, my feet are calloused, my house is made of straw- But to me it’s a palace. It seems like every day I get crazy driven, but, yes, I am happy with what I am given.  So why did my son have to go die? Why did you blow my daughter sky-high? I did not even know you. And now I sit here, and my world is on fire, and everything inside of me does burn.

 It’s a struggle to know where to turn.